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National Pork Board Threatens World Supply of Unicorn Meat

by Shane McGlaun

We all know the slogan for pork – The Other White Meat. Apparently, the legal firm retained by the National Pork Board, Faegre & Benson, has zero sense of humor and taken offense to a fake product ThinkGeek has on their website.

The product in question is Canned Unicorn Meat. ThinkGeek listed the product along with a catchy slogan “Unicorn – the new white meat.” The National Pork Board didn’t like that. I bet they were equally pissed when Fat Bastard uttered “Baby – the other, other white meat… GET IN MY BELLAY!”


The legal firm wants ThinkGeek to stop using the slogan immediately. ThinkGeek says that their usage is protected as parody. All I know is this cease and desist letter has to be one of the dumbest wastes of paper I have ever seen, and I read a few chapters of Twilight.

I’m not sure what would be worse, being the lawyer who had to send this letter or having your penis cut off in a freak Weed Eater accident.

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