Hyperdog Tennis Ball Launcher Makes Terrorizing Neighborhoods More Fun
June 23rd, 2012
Are you sick and tired of having to throw a tennis ball for your dog, just to have him bring it back to you in almost no time at all? If that is an accurate description of you, read on. You weigh more than the average person for your height, enjoy pizza, and live in a single bedroom apartment. “Wow, you’re good.” They don’t pay me for nothing! Scratch that – I meant to say “they pay me nothing” but it came out funny.
The Hyperdog Tennis Ball Launcher is a great way to shoot balls far off enough that you will be able to take a quick bite of that delicious foot-long hot dog with relish. “How do you know all this about me?” I peep through your windows
when you shower while I watch TV.
The Hyperdog Tennis Ball Launcher shoots tennis balls up to 220 feet away! But you know advertising – the “up to” number was attained with some strange malarky involving steroids, speedos, and a convenient wind pattern.
Just load up the ammo, pull back the surgical-tubing-lined slingshot piece, and boom! Let ‘er fly! Right into your neighbor’s window. That’s when you’ll be glad you
bought those really expensive Air Yeezy’s walk barefoot like a nomad and can run with the breeze between your bunion-filled toes.
Of course, there are tons of alternative uses that I think are more fun than the old “play fetch with a dog.” You could play fetch with your neighbors! And by “fetch,” I mean you sit up in a tree and try to nail them between the eyes at their annual neighborhood barbecue. That’ll teach them not to invite me to social occasions. *Knocks down another guest*
If you like this tennis ball launcher, be sure to check out the more dangerous handgun drill and the less dangerous banana gun. I’m feeling a bit violent today, especially after that great session of P90X. I feel like the great Liam Neeson from Taken! WHERE IS SHE?
Note that every link in this post goes to something gun-related. I support the right for bears to have arms, since armless bears make me cry bitter tears. Bitter, bitter tears.
[via Bless This Stuff]
Jack Kieffer owns Cool Gizmo Toys, a blog with geeky lists for your eyes to feast on!