Noonee Bionic Pants Help You Sit and Squat
August 23rd, 2014
Bionic pants. Yes, they actually exist. They will let you jump like Mario, lift heavy loads like Donkey Kong. And unfortunately, make you look like a dork. Anyway, these pants don’t really let you do anything superhuman. They just let you sit anywhere without a chair.
I personally have never had that need. And as far as super powers go, it sucks. Seriously though, the name “Noonee Chairless Chair” sounds terrible – they really should have gone with “Bionic Pants.” Plus, they really look silly. Chairs are everywhere. I’ll just use one. Keep your bionic pants, Noonee.
Maybe call them, “Squatting in the brush” pants, for when you have to drop a heavy load. Then I could see how they might be useful.