Looking sort of like one of those little rollermines that bounces around in Half-Life 2, this alarm clock isn’t going to detonate when it goes off. Instead, it just bounces around while it lights up and plays some stupid music. Here, see what I mean:

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Well, that’s annoying enough that I’d have to throw it across the room if I had to wake up to that every day. And no, you don’t get to pick the music. That’s the only tune it plays. Still, if you want an alarm clock that will get you out of bed, this is definitely one to check out. The Jumping Alarm Clock sells for about $16 (USD) over at Overstock.com, where it likely has landed because nobody really wants to buy them. I wonder why?

This little guy may look all cute and cuddly, but he’ll still bug you to the point that you’ll want to throw him across the room after about 10 seconds. That’s because the little bugger listens to exactly what you say, and then insists on parroting it back – not in your own voice, of course, but in hamster-speak. Watch and listen…

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Oh my god. Kill it now. I can only imagine what might happen if there were a whole roomful of these. Please do not buy me one of these unless you want to see me smash a Mimicry Pet hamster on camera – or maybe I’d send it to the “will it blend?” guys. If you absolutely must drive everyone in the house crazy with one of these, you can grab a Mimicry Pet hamster over at Strapya World for about $35 (USD).

The WOOF Dachshund speaker plugs into your computer or MP3 player’s audio port, and lets you listen to your tunes through a pair of tiny, tinny speakers. If that’s not enough for you, the dog starts nodding his head and barking along to the music – a feature that will certainly have you either throwing the thing across the room or packing it back up in its box and re-gifting it to someone you don’t really like. See the musical wiener dog in action here…

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So if you like your cute coated with a dose of irritating, you can get the WOOF speaker over at Brando Toys for $25.99 (USD).

Designed by Japan’s Takara Tomy, Clockman jars you awake each morning with a variety of chatty statements, along with some goofy animated facial expressions. But even after you hit the snooze bar, he seems to keep going, and going, and going. Clockman just doesn’t know when to shut up. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) for those of us who don’t speak Japanese, we have no idea what Clockman is actually saying. Here – watch the video below and let us know what you think Clockman is talking about.

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I like to think he’s saying something like “What the hell are you still doing in bed?”, “Don’t you have to get to your McJob so you can buy more cheap plastic gadgets from Japan? Loser!”

The other weird thing is that you’re supposed to choose a Clockman based on your blood type. There’s AB, B, O and A versions for you to pick from. Why? Why not? The guys over at CScout Japan seem to have an explanation – but it’s about as scientifically sound as biorhythms, horoscopes and tarot card readings.

I dare you to buy an O, even if you’re AB negative. Do you think it might reject you like a transplanted organ?

Clockman hits the streets of Japan this September, and it’s doubtful that we’ll see an English-language version anytime soon ever.

[photos: Kaden Watch and CScout Japan]

With a push of its wireless button, the Nuclear Doorbell blinks its lights and loudly announces visitors with a cacophony of  botherssome sounds, ranging from an droning klaxon to possibly the worst voice actor ever telling you that there’s someone at the door, to the sound of barn animals in a panic.

Here’s an audio/visual demonstration of one of these action, in case you want to turn down that Brittany Spears song you’ve got playing and subject your eardrums to something REALLY unpleasant.:

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Attention! Attention! I’m really irritated now.

So if you’re ready to make your eardrums ache from jarring sounds every time a survey-taker comes to your front door, you can grab one of these unholy things over at UK outfit GadgetShop for £16.99 (appx. $24 USD).

While it’s called the USB Terminator, it looks more like the bouncer who’d tell you to hit the road because you can’t come into the trendy new nightclub dressed like Andy Sipowicz.

The gadget claims to ward off prying eyes by uttering phrases like “Your name’s not down, you’re not comin’ in”, “You’re cruisin’ for a bruisin”, and the oddly suggestive “Come over here if you think you’re hard enough.”

Frankly, I’m much more likely to take out a baseball bat and smash the crap out of this thing than be driven away by its supposed security capabilities. Regardless, if you’re up for really annoying your office mates, you can pick one up from Bim Bam Banana for $59. I just won’t be sitting next to you anymore.

[via 7x7Toys]