If you’re one of the many people who does not like the smell of alcohol in hand sanitizers, but loves bacon, this geeky product is for you! To eat! *Sprays PorkKleen in mouth and runs, screaming like an idiot* Though I do not frequently change my mind, since I am an opinionated, bullheaded person, I am going to rephrase. *Clears throat* Do not eat the PorkKleen. Or the gum that’s under the subway railing, but that is undoubtedly more delicious. *Picks gum off of the floor and chews it*

For just $4 (USD), you get a 2.25 ounce bottle of PorkKleen Bacon Scented Hand Sanitizer, which should last you a pretty long time. This is the perfect gift for any of your germaphobe friends and family, but can also be bought for personal use if you’re a selfish little hobbit. Yo, man! Give me some of your bacon-scented hand sanitizer! *Thinking* “Why would I do that?” Because my hands are unclean, and I need some hand sanitizer! “NOO! IT’S MINE… MY PRECIOUSSS…” A vicious battle of riddles ensues, and the fish creature ends up having to share his precious PorkKleen Bacon Scented Hand Sanitizer.

This geeky bacon-scented hand sanitizer is currently available from ThinkGeek, your source for random junk that you need to pay for to have it. Again, this would prove that you are superior to the rest of the human race, who is still using un-scented sanitization liquids. PROVE YOURSELF, OR FALL VICTIM TO THE RISE OF THE APES. Which was actually a great movie, but I’d hate to get those monkeys mad. Scratch that – I’d be scared if they were even a little bit irked, let alone RAGE QUITTING my life. *Hides in a closet*

Jack Kieffer owns Cool Gizmo Toys, a blog that rants about random geeky products.

The artificial meat is described as “soggy pork”: “What we have at the moment is rather like wasted muscle tissue. We need to find ways of improving it by training it and stretching it, but we will get there”, says Mark Post, professor of physiology at Eindhoven University.

Exercising pig muscles when they’re not attached to the rest of the pig? – Quite a stumper indeed. I don’t know how far this experiment is going to go, but if it succeeds this is going to cause drastic changes worldwide. Meat may become cheaper, but at the same time a lot of people could lose their jobs if we don’t need to rely on live animals for meat. Would you eat lab meat?

pic from Room Candy

[via Telegraph via The Presurfer]

Just add “http://bacolicio.us/” to the beginning of any site’s URL and boom! BACON!

So for example you want to baconify TIME’s website, just type http://bacolicio.us/http://time.com. Look at that strip of goodness. The only thing better than that is a picture of woven bacon. OR a baconized picture of woven bacon. OR real bacon.

[via The Raw Feed]

These goofy USB flash memory devices are disguised to look like crispy, delicious Chinese BBQ. Available in chicken wing, drum stick, and BBQ pork “flavors”, you definitely don’t want to bite into one of these if you have any interest in keeping the teeth in your mouth.

And even if your choppers could tear through their rubbery exterior, you’d probably have a pretty tough time stomaching the metal USB connector and the silicon circuitry inside.

As long as you can resist putting these in your mouth, you can store up to 4GB of files on each one. They’re available from Brando for $28 each – not including steamed rice.