This generic-brand mobile phone offers oversize numeric buttons (1-cm wide) that you can read from several feet away – making phone calls nearly fool-proof. The phone was mainly designed for seniors with limited tech savvy, but it’s fine if you’re just looking for a really simple cell phone too. Let me go on the record now by saying If I lose my ability to use the latest high-tech gadgets when I’m an old man, please just put me out of my misery.

The 6380 Senior Mobile Phone ($75 USD) does actually have a few handy features, including a built in flashlight, and a giant “SOS” button on the back that can automatically dial a pre-set emergency number, and emit a loud warning alarm. It’s also got a minimal display with large on-screen fonts, and a whopping 128×60 screen resolution. Sign me up now!

Actually, the 6380 does hide a couple of modern features under the hood, including a digital phone book, SMS messaging, a calendar, alarm clock, games (I can only imagine how much fun those are on that screen), and an FM radio. FM? I wanted an AM crystal radio set and a Victrola built-in.

Oh, and I forgot to mention one thing. The 6380 phone only works on GSM 900/1800 bands, so it works everywhere in the world except the U.S. and Canada. Oh well, I didn’t want one anyway.