As you can see, Zalewski’s cigar box-turned-suicidal automaton has a LED counter on its lid, proudly displaying the number of times it has displayed its uselessness.

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My problem with Zalewski’s machine is not that it’s counter exhibits an extra amount of insolence, but that the arm moves quite slowly. The other Useless Machine I’ve seen had fast arms, which made it fun to observe, as if the machine was annoyed that it was turned on in the first place. The arm on Zalewski’s machine is so slow that it can actually function as a self-closing coin box – you can slip in a coin or two before the lid closes. Check out Zalewski’s website for more info.

[via Make:]

On the other hand, I don’t think we can really say that the smartphone was “running” OSX. It was more like crawling:

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I was half-expecting to see the phone explode or melt down. Still goes to show that today’s portable devices can be powerful enough to install a “full” operating system. Obviously the interface needs to be modified, but a full OS does give you legit web browsing, multitasking, and you’ll be able to browse your files and folders *hint hint*.

[via Make:]

Here’s how it’s supposed to come in handy: “This mail notifier connects to your private e-mail account, when you cannot, to let you know when you have mail! It can tell you how many un-read e-mails you have so you can sneak off to the bathroom to check them on your blackberry when you see you have a lot!” Uhhh…what?

That’s just so wrong on several levels. First of all, this thing has to be connected to a computer to work, in which case why not just use any of the myriad bits of computer software out there to notify you of emails? Second of all, if you already have a smartphone, why not use that to see how many unread messages you have? And if this is for people who are not allowed to check their email at work, what could be more freakin’ obvious than a envelope-shaped block lighting up and announcing that you have mail? Am I missing something here?

[via AVING]

I actually tried to justify to myself this gadget’s dimension-shattering existence, thinking that it might be useful for very young kids or people with special needs, such as amputees. But look at what’s inside the box: battery box, plastic rings, nuts, wire, plastic suction cups, sticky pads, screws, plastic discs with pulley, connecting sleeves, terminal block, screw driver, base plate with guide, motors and detailed instructions. Batteries not included. Tell me, Middlesex University, which would be easier: to ask someone to assemble the motherflipping contraption, or to ask someone to launch a paper plane? Using their built-in hands?

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I don’t care if the paper planes it launches move at the speed of light. This is like someone eating your food for you. Someone that you have to purchase for $16 and build. Notice also that the box says “kits created by specialists who teach teachers”, and not “kits created by specialists who create kits”. The second one would have been so much more reassuring.

Kids: remember what happened in WALL*E? Use your limbs. For the sake of humanity.

[via computersight]

Sooo… what’s the rationale behind this product? The only thing I can think of is that it’s to prevent theft of your super awesome shower radio. But that doesn’t make sense because this thing looks really cheap. I mean, I have single bottles of real shampoo that probably cost more than a whole case of these things. Whatever the reason, this wins the prize for being the most pointless gadget I’ve come across lately. (OK, so realistically, maybe it’s a tie with the s’mores maker, but it’s definitely up there.)

The stats: it takes 3 AAA batteries and adds absolutely no value to your life or decor. It looks like it’s a wholesale item, so if you’d like to stock these in your (obviously somewhat craptastic) shop check out the deets on Alibaba.

[via ShinyShiny]