The Screaming Meanie 220 portable alarm clock offers three settings: normal (75dB), loud (95dB), and earsplitting (120dB). To put those decibel levels in perspective, the lowest setting is as loud as a vacuum cleaner. If you happen to crank it up to the highest level, you’re somewhere between sitting in the front row of a rock concert and sitting in front of a jet engine. And just to make sure you don’t oversleep, there’s 5 and 10 minute “pre-alarms” which remind you that the REAL alarm is coming. While you can turn off the pre-alarm with a single button press, you need to press three buttons at once to shut off the main alarm.

While they’re certainly not pretty to look at, I can pretty much assure you that you won’t sleep past the buzzer with one of these things. So if you’re ready to be jarred awake, you can find one at the Perfect Present for about $36 (including shipping).