Listen kids, too much of anything is bad for you. Look at Mario. You think he’s still as healthy as when he was fighting ol’ D-Kong back in ’81? You all think you’re doing him a favor, feeding him all those stars and flowers and leaves and other inedible but somehow magical power-ups. And don’t get me started about them mushrooms.
Yes, our favorite Italian can’t go without the extra toughness and instant growth that the fungus gives him. He’s grown so fond of it, and all this time you’ve been giving him millions of coins to fuel his craving.
From now on, try to finish his games without using any power-ups. The exercise will do the man good. Spread the word and wear this shirt. Get one at Threadless for $18 USD.