You have to be a real geek to get excited about a shredder. Back when I had a “real job,” I used to shred all sorts of stuff, not because it needed to be shredded, but just because I hated that place and imagining it was the bosses tie (still attached to his neck) getting chopped up made me feel better about working for such douchebags. I could shred a few paperclips and staples in that thing before it jammed and I had to sneak away.
Swingline has a new shredder called the Stack-and-Shred that will go perfectly with that red stapler and your TPS Reports. The thing has a top that opens and you can put 100 pages in the hopper to shred complete with staples and paperclips. It will also shred credit cards, but I wonder if CDs can be shredded.
It uses a crosscut confetti shred patter for security and the bin holds up to five gallons of paper and metal shards. I would really like to shred my wife’s credit card. I so need one of these. You can buy one for about $250 right now.