Everytime I hear that someone has been Tased, or a reporter has allowed himself or herself to be Tased I hope they crap themselves. I would think if you have been holding in a deuce all day and you get hit with a Taser you’re going to have more than a turtlehead poking out. Justin Rocket Silverman – a reporter from The Daily – went to test out Taser’s new gear, and still managed to keep his pants clean.
Justin got to shoot some of the longer-range Taser weapons at dummies and then agreed to get Tased by the new Taser Grenade himself. The projectile-based Taser Grenade has 50,000 volts of light your ass up inside and can be fired from a long distance to attach itself to its victim. Apparently, the Taser guys decided that he might not be able to handle the actual Taser Grenade, and opted to just hook the electrodes from a box that has the same stuff inside it directly to his body.
Silverman said, “First off, the grenade’s 50,000-volt charge, as you might imagine, is extremely unpleasant. Every voluntary muscle in the body yanks tight, as a sizzling crackle of electrons fills the air, making it impossible to move. Its white-hot barbs even leave burn marks on the skin as a surge of electricity scorches your flesh.” I hope he got a nice bonus for getting shocked.