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I Wouldn’t Want to Be One of These Wieners on the Cthulhu Roaster

by Hazel Chua
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The Cthulhu is one of the creepiest and freakiest fictional monster abomination horror entities in existence, but the people behind the Cthulhu Weenie Roaster seem to think that it’s something you’d like to look at while roasting your weenies. (Of course I mean actual sausages here, made from ground up pork and beef and all that. Not… um, you know… the other weenies.)


They might look creepy, but I can think of one way they can work to your advantage: they can freak any person who’s out to steal your sausages. And never mind the kids, who never seem to be able to wait their turn. Well, now they’ll be forced to, or they’ll have to endure the wrath of the Cthulhu (as well as a good, old spanking care of their mothers.)

The stainless steel Cthulhu Weenie Roaster is available from Roast My Weenie (aptly named store, don’t you think?) for $35 (USD).



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