There are a couple of ways you could turn your precious iPhone into a brick: you could try and jailbreak it and fail; you could drop it into the toilet; or you could simply get this retro phone case.
It fits either the iPhone 4 or iPhone 3GS, but most certainly won’t fit in your pocket.
The iPhone brick phone case is available over at 100milligrams for $26 (USD). What’s next, an iPhone bag phone?