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PorkKleen Bacon Hand Sanitizer Might Attract Miss Piggy

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Written by Jack Kieffer | January 4, 2012

Hands get dirty – they touch handrails, they touch tables, and, if you’re like me, they touch the floor when you’re army-crawling across the mall. You usually whip out that alcohol-smelling Purell stuff, but now you can use some PorkKleen Bacon Scented Hand Sanitizer


If you’re one of the many people who does not like the smell of alcohol in hand sanitizers, but loves bacon, this geeky product is for you! To eat! *Sprays PorkKleen in mouth and runs, screaming like an idiot* Though I do not frequently change my mind, since I am an opinionated, bullheaded person, I am going to rephrase. *Clears throat* Do not eat the PorkKleen. Or the gum that’s under the subway railing, but that is undoubtedly more delicious. *Picks gum off of the floor and chews it*

For just $4 (USD), you get a 2.25 ounce bottle of PorkKleen Bacon Scented Hand Sanitizer, which should last you a pretty long time. This is the perfect gift for any of your germaphobe friends and family, but can also be bought for personal use if you’re a selfish little hobbit. Yo, man! Give me some of your bacon-scented hand sanitizer! *Thinking* “Why would I do that?” Because my hands are unclean, and I need some hand sanitizer! “NOO! IT’S MINE… MY PRECIOUSSS…” A vicious battle of riddles ensues, and the fish creature ends up having to share his precious PorkKleen Bacon Scented Hand Sanitizer.

This geeky bacon-scented hand sanitizer is currently available from ThinkGeek, your source for random junk that you need to pay for to have it. Again, this would prove that you are superior to the rest of the human race, who is still using un-scented sanitization liquids. PROVE YOURSELF, OR FALL VICTIM TO THE RISE OF THE APES. Which was actually a great movie, but I’d hate to get those monkeys mad. Scratch that – I’d be scared if they were even a little bit irked, let alone RAGE QUITTING my life. *Hides in a closet*

Jack Kieffer owns Cool Gizmo Toys, a blog that rants about random geeky products.