We’ve all gotten a hair in our drinks at some point, though we probably all reacted differently. (Only the small majority of us hit someone and then was beaten by a group of hoodlums and left to die on the streets. That was me. Not the hoodlums, of course, the guy who almost got killed.) We’ve also probably all spilled a little bit of a drink in our facial hair, which I can assure you populates my face in a gorgeous manifestation of peach fuzz. With the Beard Cozy, you can cover your booze or other canned drink with the beard off of someone else’s face to help maintain the temperature of your beverage! Also, the manliness of your sole.
The Beard Cozy is a manly “mug cozy” for cans, and you should probably pick one up if it’s interesting to you. Also, you should pick up my phone, which I just dropped, and I don’t care if you find it interesting. I hope you find it uninteresting, because it finds you uninteresting you LOVELESS SLUG. “You know this is the last time I’m ever inviting you over, right?” I don’t care, since I just climb through your fire escape and watch you eat anyway.
This was made by Etsy seller armsandink, and you can cheat on me by heading over there, but the Beer Cozies are currently sold out. If you’re looking for more beard-related items, check out the Bearded Ski Mask and the Viking Beard Helmet when you’re prepared to move on.
Jack Kieffer owns Cool Gizmo Toys, which is stuffed with geeky lists.