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Tactical Necktie is What Jack Bauer Would Wear to a Wedding

by Shane McGlaun
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ThinkGeek is showing off an interesting new product called the Laser-guided Tactical Necktie. It’s aimed at the man who has to wear a tie in the corporate warzone. The necktie goes around your neck like a normal tie, but has special features to help you get ahead in the office – and to torment kitties.

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Up top, the tie has a D-loop where you can attach essentials like a grenade or maybe a can of squeeze cheese. Under that is a removable pouch with a buckle where you can keep matches for starting the fire you use to burn the place down next time your check is late.

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Underneath that pouch is a molle system, which lets you hang more manly stuff, like bacon-wrapped bacon. The coolest part is the laser pointer in a removable pouch on the bottom. With that pointer, you can torment random kitties with the red dot of death or use the laser to burn out the retinas of your enemy in the cubicle next door.

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Now to crush your dreams, this is one of those famous ThinkGeek April Fools’ Day pranks. To give you a bit of hope back, ThinkGeek has a history of making their prank products real – so you never know.

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