Do you have a toddler who won’t be quiet? Then stuff a pacifier in their mouth to shut ’em up. This one should do the trick just fine. The Chill, Baby Volume Knob pacifier features an old-school analog dial you can use to try and reduce your little one’s volume.
It’s made from PVC-free, BPA-free rubber and designed to meet all child safety standards. Despite what the knob might indicate, it should immediately put your baby on mute as soon as it’s inserted into their tiny cake hole.
While I like the Spinal Tap reference, I can see no reason on the planet that you’d ever want to turn your kid’s screams up to 11. While it’s not for sale yet, should be available really soon over at Fred for just $10.