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Gigantic Magic 8 Ball Still Won’t Tell You What You Want to Hear

by Paul Strauss
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When I was a kid, I went through my share of those Magic 8 Ball toys. I think I ended up cracking open three or four of them to see what they looked like inside, and what the heck that dark liquid was that made the fortune thing float around. I just ended up making a mess of things, and everything ended up in the trash can. Why couldn’t it have predicted that, and told me my fortune with something like “You will destroy your Magic 8 Ball, and Mom won’t buy you another one this time.

I can only imagine the mess I would have made if I were given one of these giant-sized Magic 8 Balls as a child.

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This larger-than-life version of the fortune teller ball measures a whopping 10″ in diameter – about 2.5 times larger than the standard model. It’s still filled with that disgusting blue dye, and a 20-sided die bobbling about with such vague advice as “Reply Hazy Try Again,” “Ask Again Later,” and “Better Not Tell You Now.” Gee thanks, that was sooooo helpful. I think I’ll get the hammer out and crack you open so your guts spill everywhere… stupid 8 Ball.

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If you like your balls big, and your fortunes frustrating, head over to ThinkGeek now, where you can grab the Giant Magic 8 Ball for $25.

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