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The Rocketeer Pack Keeps Dogs (and Cats) Safe – While Humiliating Them

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Written by Shane McGlaun | July 4, 2018

People love dogs. This fact is never more evident than in Colorado where every fourth car is a Subaru Outback carrying at least two labs in the back seat. My daughter has a dog named “Jet.” He is 25 pounds of pure, fuzzy evil. He’s a mini Australian shepard and he uses his cuteness to lull you into handing out pets whereupon he pounces on your balls. In the car he’s even more evil.

He runs all around getting fuzz everywhere and trying to constantly kill us all by climbing into the driver’s lap. He’s a little devil. If you have a dog that you want to take with you somewhere, but is kind of a dick in the car, you need The Rocketeer Pack.

Sadly this isn’t a sweet jetpack, but a special harness for driving with small dogs. The seatbelt isn’t the sort that allows your dog to claw at the seat trying to escape either. The Rocketeer suspends you dog on the back of the seat so they can’t move or fly around the car in an accident. It also works as a wearable harness so you can carry your dog (or cat) around on your chest if you can’t be bothered to walk them on a leash.

If your dog weighs over 25 pounds, you’ll get no help here. It’s not cheap at $175, but it is on sale now for $132 and you can get it direct from Zugopet.

The images in the product listing are legendary. Even if you don’t own a pet, you should look at the “Da Fuq” on their little doggo faces. I wondering if those wiener dogs that killed a lady had been subjected to this humiliation, because that would explain a whole lot.