Satire site The Hard Times and its sister site Hard Drive have a merchant who tirelessly hawks their wares to everyone, anywhere, and anytime using its arcane web powers. One of the vendor’s latest offerings is the Basic Cotton Armor tee. It helpfully displays its stats, description, and even a drawing of itself all the time, no need to mouse over or right-click. You don’t need to farm cute level 1 creatures to craft or scrounge up some strange currency for it. Thirty of the dollars from your usual grind will do.