Do you know what my garden has been missing? More gnomes. A person can never have too many garden gnomes, despite what my wife says, and she says the 20+ I already have are enough. Enough! There’s no such thing. But now all those gnomes are going to be running for their lives after I install this Polar Bear Bench created by Design Toscano and available on Amazon (affiliate link). Santa’s helper not included.
The Arctic Polar Bear is made from crushed stone bonded with resin and reinforced with fiberglass, with a realistic white finish. The bench measures 79″W x 36″D x 38″H, and weighs in at about 110 lbs. For reference, a full-grown male polar bear can weigh between 770 and 1,540 lbs, and I plan on being about the same after Thanksgiving dinner. Pass the pecan pie!
Now I just need to add some fake blood and a fallen reindeer and I’ve got the perfect addition to my outdoor Christmas display! Will it win first place in my neighborhood’s annual decorating contest? Probably not. But will it receive the most complaints? Most definitely. And that’s a better prize than any snow globe trophy could ever be.