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US Army Extreme Cold Weather Face Masks: A Little Bit on the Creepy Side

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Written by Jonathan Berisford | December 9, 2021

Designed for use in the coldest weather conditions, these United States Government Issue extreme cold weather face masks are the same ones worn by the US Army during operations in frigid climates. Fingers crossed Santa doesn’t decide to wear one while he’s delivering presents this year, because the last thing I want for Christmas is a heart attack.

Available from Kommandostore for a reasonable $15, the exterior is made of waterproof vinyl, with mouth and nose access available via snap secured flaps. The interior is 100% cotton for the ultimate in comfort while fulfilling whatever fantasy it is you bought one for in the first place. Just don’t tell me what that is, I don’t want to know.

I wonder what percentage of these are bought for actual extreme cold weather applications, and what percentage are bought for extreme perversion applications. I assume there’s also a small percentage that are bought for both, like the overlapping portion of a Venn diagram. Admittedly, I do have to respect someone who knows how to get their money’s worth out of a product.