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You Can’t Miss With These Stormtrooper Bath Fizzers

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Written by Jonathan Berisford | June 3, 2022

Sure, Stormtroopers might not be able to hit the broad side of a space barn with their blasters, but they do know cleanliness, as evidenced by their sparkling white armor. That’s why I only trust my baths to Stormtrooper Bath Fizzers from Mad Beauty. They’re guaranteed to get you clean and help you relax and forget about why you joined the Galactic Empire in the first place. What were you thinking?!

A $13 bag from FireBox contains six fizzers with cedar wood and lime fragrance (not what I imagined Stormtroopers smelled like, but whatever) and “fizz around your tub producing a marble of black and white.” That’s fun. Need an even darker side to bath time? No worries, Mad Beauty also makes Darth Vader bath fizzers that turn your water jet black. LIKE MY HEART. Just kidding, it’s grayish-brown.

Honestly, I’m more of a shower guy than a bath guy. I don’t know, just something about sitting in a pool of my own filth that kinda grosses me out. I’m sure they’re fine for other people; I just have a dirt cloud following me around that puts even Pig-Pen’s to shame.