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Oscar Mayer Grows its Fleet of Wieners

by Shane McGlaun
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Out of all the lunch meat companies out there, Oscar Mayer clearly has the largest wiener. I mean it’s wiener is so massive that it rides around on four wheels and has a driver inside. That is one big wiener, it’s like the John Holmes of processed lunch meats. Now, the company has now unveiled an entire fleet of wieners and while they aren’t all as big and bulbous as the classic Wienermobile, they all share similarly impressive girth and turgor since they all appear to be made from fiberglass.

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The classic Wienermobile leads the Wienerfleet, followed by the Wienermini, which is perfect for those times when the full wiener is just too big. If the space is still too tight for the Wienermini, you can step down to the new Wienercycle that is agile, and able to fit into tight spaces with minimal work and effort.

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If the Wienercycle is still too much, the next rung down the wiener ladder is the 43″ long Wiener Rover. It’s an all-terrain R/C car that zips along at speed delivering wieners to consumers no matter the terrain so long as battery power holds out.

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The last of the Wienerfleet is the smallest and it’s a flying wiener dubbed the Wienerdrone. Its mission is to drop wieners on people from the sky. It’s raining wieners y’all.

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You can check out the entire Wienerfleet in action in the video below:

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