Proof that, occasionally, my prayers are answered: video game controller and accessory manufacturer Hyperkin has created an officially licensed Oscar Mayer hot dog wireless Bluetooth controller. Compatible with the Nintendo Switch, PC, Mac, Android, and iOS operating systems, the controller features “a retro design with modern ergonomics.” Nice, modern ergonomics are a must because I’m pretty sure a childhood spent gripping the original NES controller has left my hands in poor shape. Sometimes, my index fingers won’t even bend when I want them to.
Are Oscar Mayer hot dogs not your thing? Hyperkin also has Sriracha, Kraft Mac & Cheese, Heinz Ketchup, and Kool-Aid controllers. There’s a controller for every taste! Well, provided your tastes are limited to those flavors because those are currently all they’re selling. But who knows, maybe we’ll see Hot Pockets and Cheetos controllers in the future, too! One can hope.
Did I just buy the Oscar Mayer version? Yes, but I am a hot dog fanatic. TRUE STORY: I’ve been using the same water to boil hot dogs for months now– I just keep it covered on the back of the stove when not in use. But enough about things that disgust my wife; go get yourself a food-themed video game controller.