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Sit Your Butt on This Super Mario Goomba Stool

by Conner Flynn
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Goombas have it rough in the Super Mario games. They get no respect at all. They exist simply to jump on and be smashed. It ain’t easy being a Goomba. This Goomba stool from Etsy artist Pixie Brook does not have it much better.

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What’s worse? To be stomped on by a plumber or to have anyone just sit their butt on your head? It’s all bad. But that’s the life of a Goomba. You can tell by the look on his face that he isn’t happy about it. But he’s a Goomba. What can he do, except be perpetually angry? So he is.

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What kind of heartless cretin could actually sit their butt on this guy, knowing what his people have been through? Also, I just noticed that this guy looks like a weiner with tiny balls. An angry weiner with tiny balls. So no, I wouldn’t sit on that anyway. I wouldn’t want this in my house. Seriously, I can’t unsee it. I feel like it should be wearing a robe. There was a reason that Nintendo didn’t elongate the body like that in the games.

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