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Be The Mother of Dragon Kites

by Shane McGlaun
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I’m glad that dragons don’t exist; not only because they breathe fire and eat men either. There’s the bit no one thinks about. What if a dragon shat on your car? Bird poo is bad enough, but a giant dragon would certainly crush your ride with its enormous poops. I’m not even sure insurance would cover that.

If you want a giant flying dragon that won’t poo on your car, this is the ticket.

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It’s a 10-foot wingspan dragon kite made from ripstop polyester and printed in very bright colors. It has string anchored to legs, chest, and abdomen that ends in a 50-pound test polyester control line. The tips of the wings and tail have purple streamers for stability, and to look cool while flying.

You can fly said dragon to 500-feet high whilst wearing your favorite blond wig. Sadly, you can’t ride it. The 10-foot Dragon Kite will set you back $129.95 at Hammacher Schlemmer, home to all things unnecessary.

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